Ījabs: man riebj mana dzīve
1 Manai dvēselei apriebies dzīvot!
Nu ļaušu vaļu žēlabām!
Runāšu dvēseles rūgtumā!
2 Sacīšu Dievam: nevaino mani!
Teic man – par ko tu mani apsūdzi?!
3 Vai tev labi, kad pāri dari,
kad atmet pats savu roku darbu,
bet ļaundaru padomam liec mirdzēt?
4 Vai tev ir miesas acis?
Vai tu raugies tāpat kā cilvēks?
5 Vai tavas dienas kā cilvēka dienas?
Vai tavi gadi kā vīra gadi?
6 Ko tu meklē manas vainas,
pēc mana grēka kādēļ tu lūko,
7 kaut zini, ka nedzenu negantību?
Nav neviena, kas glābtu no tevis!
8 Tavas rokas greba un darīja mani
no visām pusēm! – Nu tu mani aprij!
9 Atceries, mālā tu veidoji mani,
nu tu pīšļos vērt mani atpakaļ!
10 Vai kā pienu tu mani nelēji?
Vai kā sieru tu nesēji mani?
11 Ādā un miesā tu ieģērbi mani,
kauliem un dzīslām saaudi mani,
12 dzīvību un žēlastību devi tu man,
tavs skatiens sargāja manu garu.
13 Un, redzi, ko tu slēpi savā sirdī!
Zinu, kas tev prātā!
14 Tik nogrēkošos – tu jau pamani,
manu vainu tu man neatlaid!
15 Tikko noziegšos – vai man! –
pat ja es taisns – necelšu galvu,
atēdies negoda, atskatījies posta!
16 Tik atgūšos – kā lauva tu mani lenc,
ik brīdi tu rādi, cik dižs tu pār mani,
17 no jauna tu liecības cel pret mani,
vairo savas dusmas pret mani,
jaunus pulkus pret mani!
18 Kam vedi no mātes miesām mani?
Būtu es iznīcis, neredzētu acs mani –
19 it kā manis nebūtu bijis,
no mātes klēpja – un tūliņ kapā!
20 Vai nav īss mans mūžs,
mities no manis,
atstājies, lai drusku atspirgstu,
21 pirms es eju – un neatgriežos –
uz tumsas un nāves ēnas zemi,
22 zemi, kas kā dziļa tumsa,
kur nāves ēna un maldīšanās,
kur pat gaisma kā tumsa!”
1 I am tired of living.
Listen to my bitter complaint.
2 Don't condemn me, God.
Tell me! What is the charge against me?
3 Is it right for you to be so cruel?
To despise what you yourself have made?
And then to smile on the schemes of wicked people?
4 Do you see things as we do?
5 Is your life as short as ours?
6 Then why do you track down all my sins
and hunt down every fault I have?
7 You know that I am not guilty,
that no one can save me from you.
8 Your hands formed and shaped me,
and now those same hands destroy me.
9 Remember that you made me from clay;
are you going to crush me back to dust?
10 You gave my father strength to beget me;
you made me grow in my mother's womb.
11 You formed my body with bones and sinews
and covered the bones with muscles and skin.
12 You have given me life and constant love,
and your care has kept me alive.
13 But now I know that all that time
you were secretly planning to harm me.
14 You were watching to see if I would sin,
so that you could refuse to forgive me.
15 As soon as I sin, I'm in trouble with you,
but when I do right, I get no credit.
I am miserable and covered with shame.
16 If I have any success at all,
you hunt me down like a lion;
to hurt me you even work miracles.
17 You always have some witness against me;
your anger toward me grows and grows;
you always plan some new attack.
18 Why, God, did you let me be born?
I should have died before anyone saw me.
19 To go from the womb straight to the grave
would have been as good as never existing.
20 Isn't my life almost over? Leave me alone!
Let me enjoy the time I have left.
21 I am going soon and will never come back—
going to a land that is dark and gloomy,
22 a land of darkness, shadows, and confusion,
where the light itself is darkness.
